the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
did you just send me my own nude
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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