i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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