That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize