Duck Duck Cougar?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
