She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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