I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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