i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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