We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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