i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
