I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
