he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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