this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
