btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
