Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
