my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize
