I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
