Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
