i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
