Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i've created a new STD.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
