in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
