Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
