I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
