You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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