gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize