I heard we made out
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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