i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
