If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I love you.
Bad choice
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
