this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
