so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
