it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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