she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
