I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
