so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
