I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
