I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
