He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You were trust falling into bushes
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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