Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize