i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize