Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Where is the hickey?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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