remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize