Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
