I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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