she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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