why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
