Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
