I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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