Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
