help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
