I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
