Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
