I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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