i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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