'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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