i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I need to calm my uterus...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
