Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
