Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
