Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
