I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So gin and wine won't be happening again
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize