Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
