You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
