Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
