If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
