I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize