i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
