He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im holly from the hills drunk
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
