i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
