I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
