Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
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