the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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