god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
