I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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